The Occasional Blogger

The Flock Mentality

2010-12-30T21:51:00.000-08:00

As I dream of some of things that call to my heart I look around on the internet to read and even study some of these things out. There is a facet of me that is a farmer, a rancher, a self sufficient-live off the land-pioneer. This part keeps trying to come out. She speaks to me frequently and I listen most times but never give her her head.... permission to run free & do it all and take over the facet that is lazy, the facet that is insecure and maybe even the facet that thinks she's in charge of it ALL.

While I surfed the world wide web tonight I came upon a woman who had a farm and animals and was doing what I keep thinking I'm supposed to be doing. She had or has a blog associated with her farm. She is a follower of the Christ and incorporated that stance into her musings on her blog. Her life has changed, drastically, and she had to sell her farm & her precious animals. (I think she might have gone through divorce but I'm just guessing). I was drawn in to her writings. She touches on things of the spirit that I'm pondering right now myself so it was all the more interesting to me. I have copied one of her postings and I'm putting it in here because I like it so much. I know I'm still the Occasional or "Infrequent" Blogger but it represents a part of me that I refuse to give up on..... so, here I am again! :-)

And here is her analogy of a story....

Flock Mentality
While it would seem that sheep are shepherded as a flock, nothing could be further from the truth. Within the flock are distinct personalities…each sheep is unique, with its own set of challenges to the shepherd. Over time, I have come to notice four broad categories of sheep in my personal flock.

There are the sheep that refuse to draw near…no amount of enticement will bring them in. These are the “lost sheep,” the ones that would remain outside of the fold at night, given the chance. They need to be sought and driven to safety. Despite my best efforts, they have difficulty trusting that my care is altruistic, preferring to rely on their own instincts. The want no good thing if it threatens their independence. They are the fringe observers. Feeling no security, their fear leaves them exposed. Sadly, these are the sheep that are most nervous, worried, stressed and prone to panic. The world to them is suspect, there is no safe harbor, and no rest.

Other sheep in my flock can be lured to approach if the benefit is too strong to resist. These are my hedonists. Molasses, corn, oats and barley (called “wet cob”) is their weakness. They are captivated by the rattle of a coffee can. It makes no difference who holds the can – or where they are led by the can – only that they taste the reward. These sheep are drawn by greed and desire. There is no relationship between them and the bearer of the can, no concern about the intent – good or evil – as long as their desire is met. These sheep are so easily ensnared…they will come just as eagerly to a can of rattling rocks as they do cob. They are not sensitive enough to discern the difference until they are manipulated and deceived. Their appetites are never fully satisfied, and so they are controlled by them.

Then there are the obedient sheep. They are content to be distant from me, doing whatever they please unless they are asked to do otherwise. There is no real relationship between us. They exist as confident members of the flock, complacent, believing that unless they are told otherwise, all is well. They live their lives independent of me, resigned, unless I call them near. They respond dutifully to a voice familiar, assured that they are particularly wanted. They know that the shepherd is good. Their chief desire is approval, and will follow their own way unless a demand is made and approval is guaranteed.

Lastly, the faithful. These are the sheep that have no other desire than to be in my presence. They are confident that all of their needs will be satisfied by me. They are ever-watchful for my appearance. It matters little, my purpose in the barn or pasture – wherever I am and whatever I am doing, they desire my companionship. Regardless of the circumstances or experience, they have complete confidence in my affection towards them. They seek a relationship. Whether I pat them or praise them, or simply go about my business, they are content to be with me. These are my fearless sheep. They go about their days in quiet assurance and peace. They seek nothing for themselves, confident in the provision made for them.

Of course, I love all of my sheep, whether they frustrate or flatter me. I make every effort to reassure the frightened ones, to satisfy the greedy ones, and to approve the obedient ones. But my joy is the faithful ones.

A few years ago, I was in a Bible study with the topic of “Experiencing God.” It was a good study, though I found it difficult to commit to. I was drawn away by my responsibilities during lambing…and to be honest, complete distraction. I didn’t find the study engaging, as I experience God in everything that I do. The question that nettled me was how God was experiencing me…

I have an affinity for Bible verses that reference sheep, and shepherding, “Sheep Theology.” When the text was written, readers were well-acquainted with sheep. Today, much of the meaning is lost, as shepherding is no longer a common pursuit. For me, any reference to sheep or shepherding speaks volumes, and gives an intimacy to my understanding of a passage that no other explanation could.

A particular favorite is Psalm 100:3-5 (NIV):
Know that the LORD is God.
It is he who made us, and we are his;
we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

Knowing how sheep are, the question begs to be answered…
Which sheep am I?
How does God experience me?

For the lost, rest assured that you are sought after.

Luke 15:4-7 "Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.' I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.
2 Peter 3:9 "The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance."

For the hedonist, there is a way to find satisfaction.

John 4:14 "Jesus said to them, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me shall never hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst."

And the obedient, you can cease striving. You have been approved.

Ephesians 2:8,9 "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast."

If you long to be among the faithful, pursue Him.

Hebrews 11:5-7 "And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him."

Regardless of which sheep you find yourself to be, there is a Shepherd who cares for you, that loves you tenderly, and seeks the highest and best for you. He wants to keep you in the safety of His fold, calm your fear and satisfy your heart. Will you allow Him to?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have been/am all of those sheep. I'm considering how God experiences me these days and her writings put it so well.... Thank you sweet lady. I'm sorry for your trials and hope you grew strong from them. Your writings give me a certain kind of strength.

Creekbird

2010-08-05T17:27:00.000-07:00

How far apart can I post and have "Occasional" still apply? :-P

Happy St. Paddy's Day

2009-03-17T13:51:00.001-07:00

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

WWS 2008 in review

2009-03-17T10:33:00.001-07:00

Find more videos like this on World Wealth Society

2009-01-07T19:43:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

2009-01-07T19:18:00.000-08:00

Christmas & "New Year" have come & gone and life feels just the same. I'm still me! Still working on it, still growing, still learning & grateful for every bit of it. I'm grateful for friends & family who enrich my life and teach me new things all the time. I'm grateful for God, my father & God, my mother and Jesus my brother and all the love and patience and teaching I get from that source as well. I'm grateful for health and strength and a good mind. I'm grateful for this journey & the awakening process I'm in. I look forward to the rest of it and can't wait for new adventures to come; and they're coming!! Happy New Year 2009 is looking good!!!

2008-12-02T21:46:00.001-08:00

Here's a Whirling Dervish that we saw on the Dinner Cruise on the Nile in Cairo

Find more videos like this on World Wealth Society

Find more videos like this on World Wealth Society

2008-11-26T14:26:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Somnambulist Awakens

2008-11-17T19:00:00.000-08:00

Life is interesting.

The older I get the more aware I am of how asleep I've been most of my life. Holy Cow!
I attended a seminar about 30 years ago and I heard the phrase

"The somnambulist awakens"

That's me!! I'm still waking up after all these years and now I know that the process never really ends. There's always the next level after I get to the one I'm shooting for. Eternal progression ROCKS! Especially now that I have a deeper understanding of the whole process that I'm in (we are all in it) I am moving into a place of patience with myself, gratitude for the process and a more conscious & committed relationship to the process.

Wish me luck!

Flicker in the Fireplace & Llamas in the Yard

2008-11-04T11:50:00.000-08:00

Just a point of fun...... Brayt & I kept hearing a "funny sound" and discovered a Flicker in our wood stove...... Then today I discovered llamas in the yard, dining on the delicious leaves and grass only available in the yard. Funny!

Happy Halloween

2008-10-28T12:23:00.001-07:00

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

2008-10-17T05:39:00.000-07:00

OK, so, I've been a world traveler lately & the jury is still out on whether or not I love being a world traveler!

I had some numerology stuff done on my name (s) back in July, and while I don't pretend to understand most of it, one thing stuck out for me. I have this pattern that shows up in my numbers no matter which set of names I use ( I know..... what the heck does that mean). What Gordon did (Gordon Spowart; http://www.numerologycanada.com/Home_Page.html ) is use my full name in a maiden name arrangement, a married name arrangement, first initial plus last name and middle initial plus last name (since I go by my middle name) ). Anyway, this pattern that shows up no matter which configuration he used is a cross. There's a big cross pattern that indicates that I have a cross to bear of duality. Now, I know we are all dual beings, so I didn't know this was unique in any way and apparently it is. I repeat, I don't understand it all very well, but he said that it means I can always see both sides of any situation & that I'm always of two minds about things. Boy is that ever the truth. I hear; "stand for something or you'll fall for anything" & I cringe because it's hard to stand for something. I stand for everything. Ha! Wow, can I ramble or what?! I'm not sure what I started out saying all this for. Since I started, I "lost" my post (Clancy's subliminal suggestion I think), created a very complicated email to an Egyptian friend with lots of selecting photos to attach etc, fixed a photo in Paint and then came back to this and "FOUND" my post in the "Post Options" link (I think) and started typing again & now I'm really confused about how I started & why I'm telling anyone about all this stuff. Holy Cow!! No wonder I don't get anything done all day!!!! So, you see, there's a lesson in everything. I just got some HUGE insights into myself.

OK, on with the post now that I've re-read it ......... I am of two minds about traveling. I love it & I can't stand it. Now that I'm home there are parts of me that NEVER want to leave again. And then I remember......

I did go to Egypt and that's what started this whole, meandering "process". Brayton & I went with the World Wealth Society & James A. Ray. Brayton & I went a few days early, with Raven, Tim & Tricia, Haleh, Julie Z, Steve & Brandy. We stayed at Sharm El Sheikh on the Red Sea.... at the Ritz Carlton. What a beautiful place. We had an excursion to snorkel in the Red Sea (AMAZING!) and then later that night, at 10 pm, we met in the lobby & took a charter bus for a three hour drive and went to the base of Mt. Sinai. We hiked for several hours in the dark and got to the top just in time to view the sunrise. This part was indescribable! James Ray talks about altered states of consciousness & ways of getting into them without drugs........ well, I was in one. Not only was I tired from changing time zones, getting up early to snorkel & then driving & hiking all night, exerting myself to the max, but I was ON TOP OF MT SINAI, AT DAWN!! I'm so grateful to have some photos to remind myself of the day because I was really in an altered state and my conscious mind can't access that information very readily without those reminders. I wept for joy up there. I wept in amazement and relief and incredulity. I will never, actually, forget those moments for the rest of my life. I just have to tap into them, don't I?

We flew back to Cairo sometime or other (that part's a blur) and stayed in the Marriott on the Nile. It was a palace and is now a Marriott.... beautiful place. Then the real adventure began. We had a 2 a.m. wake up call to be out to the buses by 3. We ended up seeing 2 to 3 temples a day after that. I wish I had taken notes all the while & my notebook was in the packed suitcase that I had to leave at the Marriott. (We only took 1 case a piece because of all the airplanes & buses we would be moving around on constantly).

We had our trip arranged with James' input, by Joy Travel Agency, out of L.A. A remarkable man named Fadel Gad (rhymes with waddle he says) who is a retired, Egyptian, archeologist, owns the agency and was our tour guide. Not just an archeologist, but a mystic as well. His knowledge & love of the temples and the metaphors behind what's engraved & drawn was vast. It made the trip mean so much more to me than it otherwise would have.

The places that I CAN remember by name:
Abu Simbel at Aswan: the temple of RamsesII and temple of Nefertari.
The temple of Isis on Philae Island.
The temple of Khnum on Elaphantine Island
The temple of Kom Ombo.... built for the gods Sobek & Horus.
The temple at Edfu.... built for Horus & his consort Hathor.
The temple at Abydos, Temple of Osiris
The temple at Dandara, temple of Hathour, goddess of love, music & harmony.
The west bank; Valley of the Kings
The temples of Karnak; temple of Sekhmet & the temple of Luxor.
The Sphinx (up close & personal)
The Great Pyramid with visits to the three chambers inside. Plus a little extra!
Dinner & music & shopping in the Old City

(ok I found an itenerary that definitely jogged my memory)

There is no way to describe the feeling of being in a place like Egypt. Standing in the temples, feeling dwarfed by the colossal size of most of it & SEEING with my own eyes, all the engravings & drawings made things alive & real & present in a way that overwhelmed and humbled me. I'll be forever grateful for the opportunity I had to go and experience these things in my life. (TYG & TYC)

I Need a Translator for Blogeese!

2008-06-08T21:54:00.000-07:00

OK! So........ I finally read the TAG thing in Clancy's blog and really enjoyed reading about my grandchildren! What the heck am I supposed to do now. Respond in my own blog with 10 things about me?Or respond in Clancy's blog with 10 things about me? Hmmmmm. I'm not very fluent in Blogeese yet. AND....... well, I think I'm just too tired to do it at this time of night. It's past my bedtime. So, after a wonderful & extremely exhausting weekend of babysitting grandchildren (that topic warrants a post of it's own), I think I'll call it a night and see if I can work on it tomorrow.

PS I forgot how much I love to sing! I have been neglecting that part of nurturing myself. What happened to the carefree days of being a young mother with five kids and feeling like I could conquer the world most of the time? (OK, I do know now that I was "asleep at the wheel" a lot as a young mother. Ah, ignorance is bliss sometimes) I sang in church today, a duet, with my sister Bronwyn. It was a very simple song, arranged nicely and I really enjoyed doing it, seeing the faces of some of the congregation and then the compliments that came afterward. Interestingly enough, I had been thinking that I needed to start attending to that facet of myself and see if I could recapture some of the joy or should I say, create JOY for myself at this place in my life. It would a facet of mastery living that I know would be good for me. It's very easy to let the well run dry and then think I'm going to be able to "get water out of it".

OK, now that I've rambled on incoherently for, what...... a good while now, I'm going to bed! I would love to keep typing and I'm afraid it will only get more random and disconnected if I do.
Stay tuned for more random insights into the current version of ME.

I'm BAAAAAACK!!!

2008-06-04T19:50:00.000-07:00

Well, can you believe it!! ? I actually forgot that I have a blog! I've even been "scolded" a couple of times by Clancy or rather, reminded, that I need to put something new in here. I've had a lot going on and it would have been wonderful to have kept track of it in this format. So........ for a brief overview (what I can remember)

Brayton & I went to a James Ray seminar at Kona, Hawaii in April. The seminar was 5 days, a days break then the World Wealth Congress for 2 days. That was all absolutely incredible. We then stayed and played for another week and a half. We flew over to Oahu for the last 3 1/2 days and had some really fabulous times at the Polynesian Cultural Center. We were able to return to the park for 3 days with the tickets we bought. That whole PCC thing was one of the funnest things I've EVER done. That's me! I got to eat it up, so to speak and really soak it up. FABULOUS!!

We came home from Hawaii and I repacked and reloaded pills and flew off to Houston to lend a hand at my parents house. Dad now has an injured hip and isn't supposed to put weight on it..... since he's pretty much the caregiver for the household, that's been a real strain on them all. Especially him. I've been home a bit now and trying to get myself back in the swing of things here. That James Ray seminar has sort of turned me upside down! I'm re-inventing my map of reality and it's not always a comfortable place to be. (pretty much NEVER! in my experience cuz it moves me OUT of my COMFORT zone)

The garden is begging to be planted and Dustin (son-in-law) has been tilling his heart out to get the soil ready to be worked and planted. Now, if the weather will just permit. Oh but wait! I think I've finally talked Brayt into putting a sprinkler circuit out in the big garden. (We're talking big here) So, now, we will wait to plant until the sprinklers are in! YAY!! Besides, it's stayed so cool that the germination will be better early next week. :) Other than vegetables, Brayton & I have planted about 120 shrubs and trees in the last week and a half. That nearly killed me off a couple of times. I think it added to the craziness to be so tired and exhausted for two or three "pushes" of lots of planting. It's gonna be great though!!

I wonder if I can find some pictures to post. I've been married 35 years this June and I have a bazillion pictures, the problem is finding the ones I want, ie; Hawaii, gardens, etc. I could just start putting random stuff in here!!! That could be fun!
Alright, I'm finished rambling. I didn't even write much that was very informative. I'm just a little nuts right now and these ramblings are representative of this state of mind. So, off I go.

I'm reading a book that daughter Sarah recommended (it's a book for fun (GASP!) ) It's called The Traveler by John Twelve Hawks.......... so far, so good. I'll keep ya posted (if I can remember that I have a blog.)

Britta, what was the Ten things thingy that you commented about (waaay back when)?

Life is Hard
Life is Good
I'm on my Way

In Joy!
Genene

PS my "grind in" for the next little while is; I Deserve to feel Happy & Proud!

2008-03-13T10:16:00.000-07:00

So, just for perspective, I'm adding a picture of my "garden" in winter & my garden in summer..... Days of summer glory, days I long to see. All your scenes so brilliant, they are dear to me. Let your thoughts be ever pure as yonder sun, gentle as the breezes when the night comes on.

2008-03-13T06:33:00.000-07:00

It's a frosty Thursday morning. It's actually snowing outside!! Brrrr! Brayton & I went to karate at 6 a.m. and came out at 7 to new snow falling. I keep trying to remember that this is snow everyone in the Snake River plain has been praying for and keep gratitude in my heart when I see it. I'm grateful for the snow and I'm yearning for spring. I'm craving a view of green grass and the smell of the fresh cut grass. It's one of those smells that transports me to a carefree time from my childhood. I'm instantly happy and even filled with joy, even if it's only for a moment! It still affects me in ways that last and keeps me connected to some of the joy I'm entitled to in my life. (Thank you Solution & God)

I wish I understood myself a little better. I woke up so easily this morning, even early, and felt "awake" from the start. I think I'm still a morning person who's just drifted away from it due to circumstances I've succumbed to. I think I'll start claiming my morningness again. It's a vibrant time of day for me and I'm surprised to find an awareness of this at this time in my life. I feel a subtle freedom in being awake, in the quiet of the house, with just me, myself & I to be with. Hmmmm..... I find that I often DO like my own company!! Cool! (Carol, I think of you whenever I think of that phrase, so; Here's to you!!)

My face is itchy today, still a little swollen. The cold air outside feels good on my face. I'll be dang glad when I don't have to worry about slipping on my front sidewalk though!!

In Embryo

2008-03-11T15:50:00.000-07:00

Well, here goes................ I've had so much fun reading Clancy's blog page and linking to some of her friends that it created a desire in me to start one of my own. I don't feel particularly creative right now and I notice that I feel a little sad about that. This is just such a cool medium to work and journal in and be able to share it with family and friends that I want to start my little new beginning RIGHT NOW. I'll work thru the learning curve and find out all the tricks as time goes on. My baby is just beginning to form here. Soon it'll have a 'beating heart', fingers, toes, eyes etc. For now, it's a grain of rice or sunthin'.

I love seeing pictures on blog pages. That's the best of all the game most times. I'll learn how to do that as well. Then later will come the cute backgrounds and inserted gif.s and stuff. Heh! I'm so self conscious sitting here typing, just to think that someone might read this and yet I can't help myself............... AAAAAAH!! Ok I think that'll do for now. I've reached my embryonic blog limit for a minute. I really sat down at the computer to get a few phone numbers and now look at what's happened! D'OH!! I'd better get off and make those calls.

My sweet, awesome, wondrous friend, Verla Lovejoy, just passed to the next realm this morning and I've been asked to sing, along with Clancy, at her funeral. I leave now, to prepare.

Adieu